Keoni's Journal - The Fall by Eirian Naomi Omid

 

I always loved the fall; when the sunlight is distantly warm, and there is the chill of change in the air. Fire themed leaves singing songs as their dried edges skim their surroundings while they skip down the street in the wind.

 

Somehow, in my life, the fall always signified some kind of good; despite all of the bad things to follow. Despite the dark, and the gloom that I constantly seemed suspended in, something about the fall always gave me hope. Maybe it was the fact that it meant death, and renewal; a chance for things to change...and not just a viciously gluttonous desire to go door to door begging strangers for their candy.

 

I could always feel the magic in the air.

 

 

 

Yet, there were so many autumns that I should have perished. … Somehow, I managed to stand my ground, fighting for my life on a more regular basis than even I would have expected. Somehow, I carried on through the turmoil, violence, and abuse; waiting for that magic year – the time we'd graduate, and our lives wouldn't be forced together anymore.

 

Deep down, I knew things would get better, but I only knew that meant being out of my toxic relationship; I thought it meant being alone, and never really trusting anyone again...Because that would still be better.

 

We graduated.

 

Life was upside-down. I needed a way out.

 

We'd been out of school a month when I landed my first real world job; ironically encouraged by my ex's maternal uncle.

 

Then, when the overbearing sun began to soften for the year, and the winds brought the chilled whisper of change; my world changed too.

 

A new employee walked through the store, learning the names of the people who had joined the team whilst he had been at their sister store across town.

 

He was everything I'd ever wanted. And while I resisted at first ,eventually I couldn't ignore my heart.

 

 

We fell in love in the fall.

 

The first monumental change for good in eighteen years of life.

 

Suddenly, my world sparkled with the softened sun, and my heart sang along with the dancing leaves again. The chilled winds of change sparked dreams of adventures, and feelings of excitement.

 

 

So it remains my favorite season, because it reminds me of the first time I felt safe; and that none of my traumatic experiences were in vain, because I had found the change that I had been seeking.

 

Through all of the shadows that I had slogged through, I had finally found someone who made it feel like autumn all year round. When the overbearing sun softens to our complaints, and the wind is chilled with the promise of change, and the leaves sing and dance, and the air crisps to catch your attention.

 

Because that sense of magic lingers in day to day life, when you let it.